January: I vowed to change my choices and my life – to honor my dad’s memory and because I know certain truths: I am loved, I am worth it, and He made me for more than I am in this moment.
My mistakes need not define me. Key word in that sentence ‘My.’ I own my mistakes – no one else. With that said, I owe an apology to Coach Chris. While the Bridging the Wellness Gap program had all of the pieces in one place, I did not follow or trust the process -completely. Quite honestly, I did not even wait until my dad’s funeral before trying to take on twenty years of bad habits. Again, though, that’s a reflection on me – not BTWG!!!
Fast forward: today, something is different. I started eating ‘Paleo,’ or a modified version of Paleo on June 1. I went strict, to the ‘letter of the law’ Paleo on June 20th. Here is what I know: I am more energetic. My clothes are looser, and I have no desire for sugar laden anything. These positive changes, even if they are short-term at this point, motivate me to continue.
The official Whole 30 challenge ended on July 19. I found out, surprisingly, I lost 12.5 pounds. I also came to the realization that it isn’t about the number on the scale. How’s that for freedom?
I remember when I was pregnant with Sarah. I ate the best (until now) that I had in my life. I didn’t touch sugar, caffeine, or anything that would not be the healthiest option for the young life growing within my body. Then, I gave birth to our beautiful daughter – 15 weeks early. By her third day of life, she weighed only 1 pound, 7 ounces. She fought and we prayed for her life through a four month hospital stay.
There’s a lot that God taught me during that time, but in this area (food choices), I responded like a child. What do you mean you’re giving her caffeine shots to develop her lungs? I might as well go back to Coca-Cola, fully leaded (caffeine and sugar). Now, as I write this, I feel ashamed of my cavalier attitude. What ever made me think, “anything goes,” or, worse, “I deserve…”? Wow. How arrogant – a word that I would never want or choose to have associated with my name. Yet, that is the appropriate adjective in this case.
Now, I face the rest of my life. Now, I am armed with truth – every choice I make carries a consequence, intended or not. On Kairos weekends, we share with offenders, ‘even no choice is still a choice.’ I am choosing to move forward on this Paleo journey. I am choosing to exercise. I do not want to go through the motions. I want to exercise with passion – leaving everything I have on the gym floor. Why? Here are a few of the countless reasons. All simple (and Scriptural):
- Everything is permissable, but not everything is beneficial. (1 Cor 6:12-13);
- Your (my) body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:19);
- He will not allow the temptation to be more than you (I) can stand (1 Cor 10:12-14);
- Let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirt (2 Cor 7:1);
- His grace is sufficient…[His] power made perfect in weakness (2 Cor 12:9-10); and
- Let us … make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food (Rom 14:19-20)
This is not a comprehensive list, not even close. It is, however, a place where I know I am making the right choice (His word for my spirit, Paleo to fuel the journey) for me. Important distinction: not because of me, but because of the One who loves me in spite of me. In spite of my rebellious heart (again, not something I desire as a descriptor), He answers prayers – mine included. I learn more by following than by charging ahead. I will follow, and He will do the rest.