A new chapter begins…

January:  I vowed to change my choices and my life – to honor my dad’s memory and because I know certain truths:  I am loved, I am worth it, and He made me for more than I am in this moment.

My mistakes need not define me.  Key word in that sentence ‘My.’  I own my mistakes – no one else.  With that said, I owe an apology to Coach Chris.  While the Bridging the Wellness Gap program had all of the pieces in one place, I did not follow or trust the process -completely.  Quite honestly, I did not even wait until my dad’s funeral before trying to take on twenty years of bad habits.  Again, though, that’s a reflection on me – not BTWG!!!

Fast forward:  today, something is different.  I started eating ‘Paleo,’ or a modified version of Paleo on June 1.  I went strict, to the ‘letter of the law’ Paleo on June 20th.  Here is what I know:  I am more energetic.  My clothes are looser, and I have no desire for sugar laden anything.  These positive changes, even if they are short-term at this point, motivate me to continue.

The official Whole 30 challenge ended on July 19.  I found out, surprisingly, I lost 12.5 pounds.  I also came to the realization that it isn’t about the number on the scale.  How’s that for freedom?

I remember when I was pregnant with Sarah.  I ate the best (until now) that I had in my life.  I didn’t touch sugar, caffeine, or anything that would not be the healthiest option for the young life growing within my body.  Then, I gave birth to our beautiful daughter – 15 weeks early.  By her third day of life, she weighed only 1 pound, 7 ounces.   She fought and we prayed for her life through a four month hospital stay.

There’s a lot that God taught me during that time, but in this area (food choices), I responded like a child.  What do you mean you’re giving her caffeine shots to develop her lungs?  I might as well go back to Coca-Cola, fully leaded (caffeine and sugar).  Now, as I write this, I feel ashamed of my cavalier attitude.  What ever made me think, “anything goes,” or, worse, “I deserve…”?  Wow.  How arrogant – a word that I would never want or choose to have associated with my name.  Yet, that is the appropriate adjective in this case.

Now, I face the rest of my life.  Now, I am armed with truth – every choice I make carries a consequence, intended or not.  On Kairos weekends, we share with offenders, ‘even no choice is still a choice.’  I am choosing to move forward on this Paleo journey.  I am choosing to exercise.  I do not want to go through the motions.  I want to exercise with passion – leaving everything I have on the gym floor.  Why?  Here are a few of the countless reasons.  All simple (and Scriptural):

  • Everything is permissable, but not everything is beneficial. (1 Cor 6:12-13);
  • Your (my) body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:19);
  • He will not allow the temptation to be more than you (I) can stand (1 Cor 10:12-14);
  • Let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirt (2 Cor 7:1);
  • His grace is sufficient…[His] power made perfect in weakness (2 Cor 12:9-10); and
  • Let us … make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.  Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food (Rom 14:19-20)

This is not a comprehensive list, not even close.  It is, however, a place where I know I am making the right choice (His word for my spirit, Paleo to fuel the journey) for me.  Important distinction:  not because of me, but because of the One who loves me in spite of me.  In spite of my rebellious heart (again, not something I desire as a descriptor), He answers prayers – mine included.  I learn more by following than by charging ahead.  I will follow, and He will do the rest.

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2 Responses to A new chapter begins…

  1. anna marie says:

    Sonia, your way with words is awesome,many of us have the same food struggles, what I know is that the “hole” we try to fill with food is the space that God wants to occupy, so stuffing ourselves keeps us from the peace that comes from sitting with god.

  2. Love this Sonia!! I will look to see if you have more! I think we still need to figure out a way to exercise together! I am on a similar journey! I got sick and totally blew the plan I had made in my mind but Chris and I both know we need to take control of our eating and exercise YESTERDAY!!!

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