Addiction and Adversity

My name is Sonia, and I am addicted to sugar.  Admission is the first step, yes?  That may be true, but I admitted this years ago.  Until now I haven’t done anything about it.  I say that, but I also know – I give up sugar every year (at least for the last three or so) during lent (the forty days between Ash Wednesday and Easter), and I always make it just fine.  Then, I return to sugar thinking I can control my intake.  Not true.  One soda turns to two, and one Oreo always leads to one more.

Alternatively, during other times of the year when I choose the road to Wellness (not sure what Merriam-Webster reports as a definition, but I think of ‘wellness’ as ‘intentional living’), Adversity (better known as life) meets me and does its best to derail my efforts.  Here’s where I’m supposed to say: but I stand up, look Adversity in the face, and knock it out of my way.  Here’s the truth:  I cave.  Not every time, but more times than I like.

Caving for me revolves around sugar.  If I have one Coca-Cola (I am convinced God personally blessed the person who discovered this nectar), it’s only 140 calories.  As long as I stay under 1500 calories for the day – does it really matter?  The answer is yes.

For years upon years (that’s a lot of years) I professed – life is about choices.  Choose joy.  One of my other mantras – character is who you are when no one (but God) is watching.  What sort of character do I have if I drink water or iced tea when I’m at a local restaurant, but guzzle a large sweet tea or a can of Coca-Cola when I’m by myself?  Please, don’t answer that.  I promise – I already know the answer, and my question was rhetorical.

Bottom line: life change begins with heart change.  I need to push through the headaches that come with fewer calories, choosing joy every step of the way.  It’s a decision.  My decision:  to be more conscientious of what I consume – all day, every day.  Does this mean, I am going ‘raw’ or only eating ‘organic?’  Not necessarily, but it does mean, I am checking my heart’s motivation.  Do I need it?  Do I want it?  Will it fuel me?  Will it fill me?  Will it only temporarily satisfy?  What if I do something else for thirty minutes – will the craving pass?  I am sure if I am intentional, I will also be more successful on this journey.

Today’s the day I say good-bye to my sugar addiction.  I need to do this – for me and for my family.  I am leaving my addiction at the foot of the cross and trusting Phil 4:13: I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.  Today, I am remembering, I am worth it whether or not I succeed.  I only need to focus on one day, one moment at a time.  My identity is not wrapped in my activity.  It never was.  My name is Sonia, and I am loved.  Period.  End of story (or at least this blog). 😉

Advertisements
This entry was posted in 01 (Jan), 2011. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Addiction and Adversity

  1. Rachel says:

    My name is Rachel and I am addicted to television. I blogged about it; we cut our cable because of it. But I am probably also addicted to sugar. Television was easier to cut out, I’m sure. Blessings to you on this new journey!

  2. Mary Beth says:

    My name is Mary Beth and I am an alcoholic, sugerholic, and workoutholic. I too have issues with ANYTHING in moderation and I am choosing to adjust my thinking. Live one day at a time and “trust the process”. Most importantly- Relax, because God is in control!!
    Peace Sonia-Good Job!!!

    • Mary Beth says:

      sugar- sorry

      • Sonia says:

        I’m not listing all of my addictions. I choose to think of some of my vices as positive – reading for instance, but if it becomes an avoidance behavior (which it sometimes does), then I need to evaluate and re-direct. Thanks, Mary Beth! I’m with you on the ‘adjust(ing) my thinking’ journey! God IS in control! Amen!

  3. Amber says:

    This is fun. Kind of. Well, not really. My name is Amber. I am an insecure perfectionist (ha, but not when it comes to cleaning). I hate when people don’t like me and try to figure out what’s wrong with me. At the ripe age of 31, I’ve finally gotten to the point of saying, “You win some, you lose some.” I made straight A’s in college and grad school, been requested by several parents to be their children’s teacher, and get positive feedback from people often . . . but I rarely believe compliments. I think I’m fat and ugly and figure God made me this way so that I could see the beauty in others (although I rarely see it in myself) and to make me funny. 😉 I’ve suffered from depression/anxiety disorder most of my life. I used to have self-injurious behavior. I haven’t hurt myself since Oct. 23 of 09. (You can only see the scars when I’m cold and turn purpley.) Yes, I’ve been through counseling so don’t freak out on me. 🙂 I love my Jesus and thank God for His salvation. I’m amazed how He can use broken people. Geez, just look in the Bible, right? What a wonderful, gracious Savior who is strongest in our weakness!

    • Sonia says:

      So, you wrote the book on insecure perfectionism? Oh, wait. I’m older. It must have been a different author, but I kid you not – read it, bought every word (for years), and have the same scars you describe to prove it. Our paths are similar – I also did the straight A thing… for validation. Praise God for new mercies! And, praise God that I finally realize – we are all broken. Struggles may be different to us, but we are simply and beautifully broken. Every pain in my life shapes me (and, no I do not mean – apple). For that I am grateful. No freaking out here awaits… just a hug and understanding. I will support you every step of the way – no strings attached. 🙂

  4. Amber says:

    Sonia,

    Thanks for laying it out there so we could follow suit. 🙂 Proud of ya, girl!

  5. Becky says:

    Well here we go! Hi my name is Becky and I am addicted to…
    Food, carbs in general, my computer, laziness, and like you Amber have a problem with wanting everyone to like me, and when they don’t I wonder what is wrong with me.
    Food has always been my go to, my constant, it never disappoints, well until the guilty feeling sets it. My computer, I work on it all day, and bring it home, and “surf” all evening, (which is something I am working on) Like in Chris’ tip on the day, today I got up, did my workout, came home, ate my breakfast before I opened my computer. I am trying to focus on other things before I sit. Laziness… well, I am lazy. Don’t get me wrong I love to work out, once you get me up off the couch, I am good, but I lack the motivation sometimes. I think the computer and my laziness are linked together.
    I have always been a people pleaser, which has not always turned out good. It usually ends in getting used in some way. I am thankful of my husband who is my balance in that area.
    Well I could keep going, but I need to get to work 😉
    God is good!

  6. Rob says:

    Sonia,
    Wow, what a great conversation you got going on your blog….you have made me (and lots of others) think about what we are addictive with.

    My name is Rob (hi Rob) and I am addicted to cereal. Late night, you can find me shoveling it into my mouth. Don’t need it. Just want it.
    Now, my late night throw-down usually consists of non fat yogurt, cereal and low fat peanut butter (called “Better N Peanut Butter” it is my crack!).

    All this food his healthy, but I bet on some nights I will add 600 calories to my daily intake just from this feeding frenzy! Nuts!

    So like you, I intend to take a closer look at what is a healthy snack, and what is a mindless feeding frenzy. We will ALWAYS ask ourselves these questions….no finish line, just the ability to be smarter and less emotionally dependent on food, cigarettes, booze, and yes, even working out!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s