My name is Sonia, and I am addicted to sugar. Admission is the first step, yes? That may be true, but I admitted this years ago. Until now I haven’t done anything about it. I say that, but I also know – I give up sugar every year (at least for the last three or so) during lent (the forty days between Ash Wednesday and Easter), and I always make it just fine. Then, I return to sugar thinking I can control my intake. Not true. One soda turns to two, and one Oreo always leads to one more.
Alternatively, during other times of the year when I choose the road to Wellness (not sure what Merriam-Webster reports as a definition, but I think of ‘wellness’ as ‘intentional living’), Adversity (better known as life) meets me and does its best to derail my efforts. Here’s where I’m supposed to say: but I stand up, look Adversity in the face, and knock it out of my way. Here’s the truth: I cave. Not every time, but more times than I like.
Caving for me revolves around sugar. If I have one Coca-Cola (I am convinced God personally blessed the person who discovered this nectar), it’s only 140 calories. As long as I stay under 1500 calories for the day – does it really matter? The answer is yes.
For years upon years (that’s a lot of years) I professed – life is about choices. Choose joy. One of my other mantras – character is who you are when no one (but God) is watching. What sort of character do I have if I drink water or iced tea when I’m at a local restaurant, but guzzle a large sweet tea or a can of Coca-Cola when I’m by myself? Please, don’t answer that. I promise – I already know the answer, and my question was rhetorical.
Bottom line: life change begins with heart change. I need to push through the headaches that come with fewer calories, choosing joy every step of the way. It’s a decision. My decision: to be more conscientious of what I consume – all day, every day. Does this mean, I am going ‘raw’ or only eating ‘organic?’ Not necessarily, but it does mean, I am checking my heart’s motivation. Do I need it? Do I want it? Will it fuel me? Will it fill me? Will it only temporarily satisfy? What if I do something else for thirty minutes – will the craving pass? I am sure if I am intentional, I will also be more successful on this journey.
Today’s the day I say good-bye to my sugar addiction. I need to do this – for me and for my family. I am leaving my addiction at the foot of the cross and trusting Phil 4:13: I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. Today, I am remembering, I am worth it whether or not I succeed. I only need to focus on one day, one moment at a time. My identity is not wrapped in my activity. It never was. My name is Sonia, and I am loved. Period. End of story (or at least this blog). 😉